At the Taragh Bracken Law Firm, we understand first-hand how shameful and devastating it can feel to have a failing marriage. You feel as though the weight of the world is on your chest, and that sleeping is a luxury of its own. Your taunted by nightmares of what others will think when they find out that your seemingly perfect marriage is everything but beautiful, and how you’ll cope with the loneliness that is sure to follow suite the divorce. Here’s how to save the scraps of your failing marriage, so that you at least know you tried your best and gave it your all.
Assume the Best of Your Partner
When you’re going through marital issues, Bracken knows how easy it can be to automatically blame your significant other for every and any wrongdoing. You see every action in a negative light, only egging on the ugliest of fights. Instead of assuming the worst in your partner, see them for their best qualities. Change your mindset by interpreting their harsh actions as unintentional and negligent versus horrible and vengeful.
Censor Your Words
Try avoiding all negative phrases or words for at least a week, and then see how you feel. Your words can sting your significant other like no other weapon can, and the burn lasts longer than you may believe. Don’t let any sarcastic comment eat away at the little intimacy that you have left. If you’re truly interested in saving your marriage, then take authority over your thoughts.
Bring Back the Romance
Who doesn’t love a hand-written romantic letter? Whether it be poems, a recap of your love story, a memorable collage of your favourite moments together or sweet romantic words… Your partner is bound to love and cherish it. They will recognize how much of an effort you are making towards salvaging the relationship, and may even attempt to warm her or him up the idea of going the extra mile to saving it as well.
Listen to Their Problems
Don’t try to fix everything your wife or husband iterates. If your wife just had a bad day, simply take the time to listen about what happened versus chiming in with the obvious solution every two seconds. In this moment, all she wants to feel is understood. She wants to know that she has a husband or wife who is there to support her during the most difficult moments of her life, and to love her regardless.
Take the Sweat Test
When couples make a point to develop health habits with each other, they often have a healthier relationship because of it. So get your squeaky white sneakers on and hit the gym together. You can decide to take group classes with an assigned coach, such as Orange Theory, and motivate each other during the entire work out with high fives and kisses. When you realize how much better you are feeling–both physically and mentally–you’re likely going to have more sensitive emotions towards your loved one.